Seriously.
For a short time in this tormenting semester, I was carefree. I had nothing to do. I was enjoying my time, knowing eventually things will turn bad and troubles will storm me and mess up my tranquil life.
And they have.
Around 3 weeks ago, a teacher persuaded me to participate in a speech competition. The problem was the finals will be held on the same day I have planned to do a performance with my friends, which means 2 consecutive troubles on that day, but I went in anyway. When Monday came, another teacher called me and said the university was considering to put me into a really big competition and suggested I took a special course, in which it would basically take away my Sunday every single week until probably next July or so, but I went in anyway. At this stage, I thought to myself there's definitely going to be something more on that performance day like me being MC or something, just for laughs.
I jinxed it. On Wednesday, yet another teacher told me the faculty planned to choose me as the MC of the event. 3 jobs in the very same event: The MC, a speech contest competitor, and a show performer. And guess what? I went in anyway.
Did I do the right thing? Did I just seize all opportunities, or did I just add all the troubles to my life? Maybe both. I had almost 3 and a half years of relatively humble university life, and suddenly all the competitions just popped up in just 2 weeks.
It's not that incredible for a student to participate in several competitions, but to me it's ironic that opportunities come in packs. They don't appear every 3 months or so; they appear whenever they want, often in a large number. Many of us wait for their chances, some of us make their own, and then there's this kind of instance where all the chances are here and you must choose wisely because take them all and they might turn into a nightmare, in which I just did.
I have had several posts in this blog now, and I think a lot of them have at least a few sentences about education and studying. It's partly because I am quite interested in it, and also because I don't have a life. I am that boring creature who emerges from its lair to eat, study, and retreat. This is why I find it surprising that anyone would think I'm worthy enough to give them advises on love.
Let me clarify. In these past few days, a few people have talked to me and discuss about their relationships. I have been trying my best to advice them, but in truth I know even less than they do. Who am I to give advise, when I don't even have a successful relationship of that kind with someone?
From what I have seen, though, it seems there is a trend in problems regarding love. I find even one of the most rational people I know falls apart when dealing with love, because feelings takes over. If that person were to use reason as they normally would, every problem would be solved reasonably and very easily. A solution might be so clear to me because I watch from atop the pillar of reason, but the ones down there just can't see because it's foggy with mist of emotions. Furthermore, love is not based on reason only, therefore to think rationally might not be enough. But then again, who am I to judge?
This pretentious love guru tries their best to give best advises but they really shouldn't. This ordinary student takes on every challenges but maybe they shouldn't. This blog writer is writing a post again but actually they shouldn't. Exams are coming and reviewing is a must, after all.
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
17th Rant : Back to where I was, far from where I was
Hello again.
2 and a half years later.
Things have changed a lot, and many new things happened, good, bad, and undefinable.
The "love" I said I confessed in the ....15th?...rant, I have concluded that this might not be love after all. I still don't know how love feels like, and I don't think of trying to know anymore. It bothered me too much and too long. Let my try no more.
Being nice and supportive to you makes me feel content. This is enough. For now, at least.
In other news, I am currently a university student. College life is fine, I guess. Troubles of all sorts bombard me from all possible directions, almost constantly. But hey, life isn't a fluffy wonderland of sweets. It's natural to struggle. To survive is not to just be alive.
Speaking of troubles, I think I have got a glimpse of what it means to work. It's a world full of people pretending to be professionals, with very few actual professionals and even fewer ideal individuals. There are a whole lot of those who aren't really capable, then there are those who can work well, but are also machines installed with ill-will. Of course, there are those who will help you, even if they aren't actually any good. But there are also those who will help just some people, and will give no chance to others. The world of grown-ups is filled with various kinds of people, and you must never forget that you too are part of those people. Make yourself a good one.
I've been learning, and forgetting, a lot of stuff. I always think I sacrificed English for Chinese. I think I was way better at English back then. I think I didn't have to pause every now and then to think of appropriate words to use like this. It's frustrating to know that you were better, you could do better in the past, but you can't do well like you did. You used to know, but now you don't.
I almost stop playing AQW completely by now. Studying abroad at Beijing forced me to abandon AQW via horrible internet access to the game's server. I tried Trove and Transformice, which were both nice but unfortunately not so suitable to play in my homeland. The ridiculous reason was my computer would overheat and there was no cool weather to calm it down. i went back to Aura Kingdom, Eden Eternal and even Luna Online, but they all were left behind brutally when Maple Story finally reopened in my country.
Maple Story is my favorite game. It is the game I love the most ever since I was a kid. I wear eyeglasses because I was addicted to it. I started getting myself revolved around games because of it. Although the game I learned many things from the most was AQW (I started learning English outside classrooms from it and it also helped a lot in practicing patience and determination.), now that I am back to the Maple world I missed, I get to look at this game I love from a slightly grown up point of view. I don't just play around anymore. I play, think why it is fun, how can it be improved, and what I am learning from it. At the very least, and most obviously, I continue to practice my determination and patience through games. Seriously, the jumping mini games of Maple are downright horrifying.
I've come so far but it looks like I'm actually back to where things were. We move on but that doesn't mean our life has to change entirely into something else, losing its original, or current, shape and form. There is also a possibility that things once gone will come back to you. I walk on a path I walked before and never walked before. Can I take a path I didn't take? No, this is not a second chance. This is a continuing road that never leads backward, No matter how things seem, the way is laid forward.
Let's continue.
2 and a half years later.
Things have changed a lot, and many new things happened, good, bad, and undefinable.
The "love" I said I confessed in the ....15th?...rant, I have concluded that this might not be love after all. I still don't know how love feels like, and I don't think of trying to know anymore. It bothered me too much and too long. Let my try no more.
Being nice and supportive to you makes me feel content. This is enough. For now, at least.
In other news, I am currently a university student. College life is fine, I guess. Troubles of all sorts bombard me from all possible directions, almost constantly. But hey, life isn't a fluffy wonderland of sweets. It's natural to struggle. To survive is not to just be alive.
Speaking of troubles, I think I have got a glimpse of what it means to work. It's a world full of people pretending to be professionals, with very few actual professionals and even fewer ideal individuals. There are a whole lot of those who aren't really capable, then there are those who can work well, but are also machines installed with ill-will. Of course, there are those who will help you, even if they aren't actually any good. But there are also those who will help just some people, and will give no chance to others. The world of grown-ups is filled with various kinds of people, and you must never forget that you too are part of those people. Make yourself a good one.
I've been learning, and forgetting, a lot of stuff. I always think I sacrificed English for Chinese. I think I was way better at English back then. I think I didn't have to pause every now and then to think of appropriate words to use like this. It's frustrating to know that you were better, you could do better in the past, but you can't do well like you did. You used to know, but now you don't.
I almost stop playing AQW completely by now. Studying abroad at Beijing forced me to abandon AQW via horrible internet access to the game's server. I tried Trove and Transformice, which were both nice but unfortunately not so suitable to play in my homeland. The ridiculous reason was my computer would overheat and there was no cool weather to calm it down. i went back to Aura Kingdom, Eden Eternal and even Luna Online, but they all were left behind brutally when Maple Story finally reopened in my country.
Maple Story is my favorite game. It is the game I love the most ever since I was a kid. I wear eyeglasses because I was addicted to it. I started getting myself revolved around games because of it. Although the game I learned many things from the most was AQW (I started learning English outside classrooms from it and it also helped a lot in practicing patience and determination.), now that I am back to the Maple world I missed, I get to look at this game I love from a slightly grown up point of view. I don't just play around anymore. I play, think why it is fun, how can it be improved, and what I am learning from it. At the very least, and most obviously, I continue to practice my determination and patience through games. Seriously, the jumping mini games of Maple are downright horrifying.
I've come so far but it looks like I'm actually back to where things were. We move on but that doesn't mean our life has to change entirely into something else, losing its original, or current, shape and form. There is also a possibility that things once gone will come back to you. I walk on a path I walked before and never walked before. Can I take a path I didn't take? No, this is not a second chance. This is a continuing road that never leads backward, No matter how things seem, the way is laid forward.
Let's continue.
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